Chinese and Western Dining Cultures

Some of the practices in a formal Chinese dining occasion may seem rather strange to a foreigner. However, every formality, from the seating arrangement to the tea-drinkers’ gestures, has an explanation or story behind it. Basically, the purpose of any form of dining etiquette is a gesture of courtesy to the guests and fellow diners, only that different cultures have different ways of showing it.

For more casual dining or in less expensive restaurants, formality is not so elaborately observed. The Chinese, in particular, do not have any reservations when it comes to informal occasions, and comfort is the order of things in such settings. However, if you are a foreigner dining with the locals, special courtesy will be shown towards you in whatever dining environment. To the Chinese, a guest is always treated with great hospitality.

In more expensive restaurants or banquets, the slightest details are planned to make the occasion as pleasant to the guest as possible. Everything seems to have a meaning, from the menu to the positioning of diners to the timing of toasts. To the Westerners, some of these formalities may not be their idea of good manners or refinement, but they are nevertheless aimed at honoring the guests. The more elaborate dinners usually include up to ten or twelve dishes and they are served one at a time so that the diners can enjoy the meal slowly. Expensive dinners are mostly held in private rooms and this where you will see the most evident display of Chinese dining etiquette.

For Westerners, seating arrangement is not accorded such importance, but to the Chinese, the positioning of diners speaks volumes of the status of each individual. When you arrive at a Chinese dining occasion, the one who sits furthest or opposite the door is usually the guest. The host will take the seat closest to the door and the food will be served from that position. This arrangement is adopted from a home dinner setting where the host helps out to serve the food that comes out of the kitchen. But these days, it is common for the host to be seated beside the guest to make the dinner a more comfortable affair. In this case, the person who is supposedly of the lowest status among the diners will be assigned the seat closest to the door, with guests of higher status seated further away from the door. If you find yourself seated in the position closest to the door, you should not take it too personally because mostly, it can also mean that you are the least-conscious about status. You should insist that someone else of a higher status (such as your Master or someone who is older than you) take a seat farther from the door than yourself. It is polite to do this as well even if the person is not of a higher ‘status’ than yourself, as doing so is a way of being modest about your own status which is a much-respected personality trait.

For Chinese dining, toasting and serving of tea can also be quite extraordinary practices to the Western observer. If the dinner is held to improve business relations, every diner is required to offer a toast after mutual agreement is reached, and the toast will culminate in speeches by both the host and the guest. Some Chinese dinners, even the most expensive ones, can be rather boisterous affairs after a few drinks, but this is usually in the act of celebration and good faith rather than disrespect for the guests. When it comes to serving tea, every diner will take turns to fill the tea-cups of fellow diners, starting from the host. You may notice that it is quite common for Chinese people to tap the table with their fingers after their cups are filled. In fact, this practice was invented by a Qing Dynasty Emperor during a trip to South China. While dining at a restaurant there, the Emperor took his turn to serve tea to the diners as a way to hide his Imperial identity. As the tea went round the table, his companions stood up and bowed, and He told them that it was rather untactful of them to do so. The Emperor suggested that it would be better if they just tapped the table with three fingers, of which two will symbolize their prostrate arms and one for the bowed head. Until today Chinese people still practice this gesture to express their deepest appreciation for the service of those who serve tea, especially in South China and Hong Kong.

Some habits that are not well tolerated in the Western culture are considered acceptable or even appreciated by the Chinese. For instance, Westerners will probably be appalled by habits such as soup-slurping or belching, but slurping is very common among the Chinese as a way to make the soup cool enough for consumption. In the past, most Chinese diners place the bones on the table after they are done picking out the meat, and Western guests are often quite uncomfortable with that. But lately, restaurants provide small plates for diners to keep their bones and this makes dining a more orderly affair.

A Chinese dining occasion is primarily arranged to give the best possible dining experience to the guest. And as a mark of their sincerity, the best dishes are usually placed closest to the guest (or if the table has a rotating serving tray in the centre, dishes are rotated so that the guest of honor may try the dish first). It may take many times before you are familiar with all the local traditions and customs. Most Chinese people should understand that foreigners do not know all the traditions, however they may be unimpressed by you if you make no attempt to learn them or follow along.